Hot Take: You’re Cute, But Your Texting Game Is Ugly

Listen, being attractive might get you in the door but if your texts look like they were written by a caveman with thumbs too big for his phone, you’re not staying long. Dry “wyd?” messages, zero punctuation, one-word replies? Congratulations, you just killed every ounce of interest your jawline bought you.

Hot people forget that charm doesn’t translate through silence. A selfie might get likes, but conversation gets connection. If you can’t string together three sentences that don’t sound like a hostage negotiation, then I don’t care how symmetrical your face is. You’re cute, but your texting game is ugly and ugly always wins in the end.

Final Thought: Pretty fades fast when your texts make me want to throw my phone.

Disclaimer: This is satire, not relationship counseling. If you’re offended, maybe reread your last text thread.