Tessa ReneeDear men, we need to have a little chat because somewhere along the way, a lot of you confused showing up at the absolute baseline of human decency with effort. And let me tell you: the bare minimum is not enough, it never was, and it certainly doesn’t count as “trying.”
Texting back within 24 hours? That’s not effort. That’s basic respect. Showering before a date? Not effort, that’s hygiene. Asking “wyd” for the third night in a row and calling it interest? That’s laziness disguised as communication. Effort is planning, intention, consistency. The bare minimum is just…… existing.
The reason this conversation matters is because women notice. We notice the difference between someone who takes initiative and someone who thinks sending a half-dead meme is enough to sustain connection. We notice when dates are planned versus when we’re expected to “chill.” We notice when flowers are thoughtful versus a last-minute gas station grab. And we especially notice when men mistake the smallest gestures for grand romance.
Here’s the real tea: effort doesn’t mean expensive. It doesn’t mean extravagant. It means paying attention. Remembering the detail she mentioned in passing. Making plans that show you considered her interests. Showing consistency instead of forcing her to guess how you feel week to week. It’s not about money, it’s about mindfulness.
When you confuse bare minimum with effort, you send the message that you don’t actually care about impressing her, you just care about keeping her from leaving. And that, my dear men, is exactly why she eventually will.
Tessa’s Final Thought:
Effort isn’t extra, it’s the baseline for connection. Stop mistaking crumbs for a full meal.
Disclaimer:
This series is for entertainment and perspective. Effort looks different for everyone, but one thing’s universal: respect and consistency are non-negotiable.
Tessa Renee
