Texts That Deserve Jail Time

Some texts are so bad they should come with handcuffs. We’re talking crimes against conversation, messages that make you question if the sender has ever interacted with another human being before.

First offense: the dry “wyd” repeat offender. Once? Fine. Twice? Tolerable. Every day for weeks? That’s harassment by boredom. If you can’t carry a conversation past three letters, you’re not flirting but what you are doing, you’re holding me hostage.

Second offense: the over-sharer. Dropping trauma dumps in the first five texts? Sir, I asked how your day was, not for your autobiography. There’s a difference between being real and being reckless with information.

Third offense: the time-zone terrorist. Texting “hey” at 3 a.m. like I’m just waiting for your grand entrance? No. That’s not mysterious—that’s inconsiderate. Some of us actually sleep.

And let’s not forget the emoji abusers, you know the type, stringing together random icons that make no sense. 🍆🐍🚀🥶 what am I supposed to do with this? Call NASA?

Some texts don’t just miss the mark, they commit full-blown crimes. And the punishment? Straight to the blocklist.

Tessa’s Final Thought:
If your texts feel like community service, you belong in conversational jail.

Disclaimer:
This series is for entertainment and perspective. Don’t overthink every message, just aim for effort, not evidence in a case file.