Dear Tessa: He Asked for Nudes Before a First Date

Crisis:
Dear Tessa, I matched with a guy and before we’ve even gone on a first date, he asked me to send him nudes. I was shocked and didn’t know what to say. Is this normal now, or should I block him?

— Undressed Before Dinner

Babe. No. Absolutely not. A man asking for nudes before he’s even bought you a coffee isn’t bold, it’s pathetic. That’s not “flirty,” it’s not “forward,” it’s straight-up lazy. He doesn’t want to invest time, effort, or respect. He wants a shortcut. And if his first move is “send pics,” you better believe his second move is ghosting you the second he’s bored.

Here’s the thing: intimacy is earned, not demanded. If he can’t even put pants on and meet you in public before asking you to take yours off in private, then congratulations you just dodged the fastest red flag of all time. Don’t romanticize it, don’t excuse it, don’t second-guess it. Block. Delete. Next.

Because the man who’s actually worth your time? He’ll be more interested in booking a reservation than begging for a photo. And trust me, he won’t need nudes to be excited he’ll be thrilled just to be sitting across from you.

Final Thought: If his first date idea is your camera roll, then babe, you don’t need dinner, you need distance.

Disclaimer: Menace Mail is written with equal parts sarcasm, savage honesty, and a little too much iced coffee. These answers are not licensed therapy (shocking, I know), just unfiltered perspective. If it stings, maybe that’s the point. It is pure satire and for entertainment purposes only. The scenarios, “advice,” and commentary are exaggerated, over-the-top, and not meant to be taken literally. If you’re here for actual relationship guidance, you’re in the wrong inbox and on the wrong blog.