Dear Tessa: He Never Texts First, Is That a Sign?

Crisis:
Dear Tessa, the guy I’m dating never texts me first. He always replies when I reach out, but he rarely starts the conversation. Does that mean he’s not into me?

— Always the Initiator, Never the Priority

Babe, let’s be blunt: if you’re always the one starting the chat, you’re not his crush, you’re his entertainment on demand. He’s basically sitting there waiting for you to send the “hey :)” so he can decide whether he feels like replying between Xbox rounds and scrolling Instagram. Cute.

Here’s the thing: effort speaks louder than emojis. If a man really wants you, he’ll blow up your phone like it’s a group project and you’re the only one doing the work. “Good morning” texts, random check-ins, dumb memes, that’s what interest looks like. Silence until you hit send? That’s convenience.

And no, don’t fall for the “I’m just bad at texting” excuse. Translation: “I’m not bad at texting, I’m just bad at prioritizing you.” People text what matters to them. If you’re not showing up at the top of his notifications, you’re not at the top of his list.

Final Thought: If he never texts first, that is the sign. Stop auditioning for a role he’s not even casting.

Disclaimer: Menace Mail is written with equal parts sarcasm, savage honesty, and a little too much iced coffee. These answers are not licensed therapy (shocking, I know), just unfiltered perspective. If it stings, maybe that’s the point. It is pure satire and for entertainment purposes only. The scenarios, “advice,” and commentary are exaggerated, over-the-top, and not meant to be taken literally. If you’re here for actual relationship guidance, you’re in the wrong inbox and on the wrong blog.