DMs That Made Me Physically Cringe

There are bad DMs, and then there are DMs so awful they make you physically flinch. The kind that force you to close the app, stare at the ceiling, and ask yourself why people think this is the way to someone’s heart.

Classic offenders?

• The novel-length paragraph. We just matched, and you’re already trauma-dumping your life story. Sir, I asked for a hello, not a memoir.

• The “hey” army. Fifteen “hey” messages stacked like bricks in my inbox. If I didn’t answer the first one, the other fourteen are not going to change my mind.

• The copy-paste king. When you can tell he’s sending the exact same “Good morning, gorgeous 😘” to every match like it’s a mass email.

• The straight-to-sext. No greeting, no buildup, just chaos. If your first message requires me to bleach my brain, congratulations—you’ve won Cringe Bingo.

DMs are your first impression. And if your opener makes me cringe instead of curious, you’re not shooting your shot, but you’re fumbling it straight into the void.

Tessa’s Final Thought:
If your DM makes me recoil, it’s going straight to the group chat.

Disclaimer:
This series is for entertainment and perspective. Shoot your shot but aim higher than “hey” and horror stories.