No, I Don’t Want to “Hang Out” at Your Place

Translation: you want me to sit on your lumpy couch, watch Netflix, and pretend this is a date while you angle for a hookup. Babe, if I wanted to lower my standards to four walls and a flatscreen, I’d just stay home.

A real plan requires thought. Creativity. At least leaving the house. If your idea of romance is “let’s chill at mine,” save it. I can chill with my own snacks, my own playlist, and zero awkward goodbyes when I decide I’m done.

Final Word: If your date idea requires sweatpants, don’t bother inviting me.

Disclaimer: This is not a relationship manual. If “hang out” is your best move, that’s on you.