Dear Tessa, Am I Asking for Too Much or Loving the Wrong Man?

Dear Tessa,
I’m starting to feel like maybe I’m the problem. Every time I ask for consistency, clarity, affection, or effort, it turns into an argument. He says I’m “too much,” “too emotional,” or “never satisfied.” I don’t know if my standards are too high, or if I’m just loving the wrong man. How do I know the difference?
— Tired of Feeling Difficult

Tessa’s Straight-Up Perspective

Let me make this crystal clear:
Asking for the bare minimum does not make you “too much.”
It makes you someone who finally knows her worth.

Men who cannot meet your needs will always try to convince you your needs are the problem.
That’s not love babe that’s deflection.

Let’s break it down without sugarcoating it:

You’re not asking for the moon.
You’re asking for communication.
For effort.
For respect.
For your feelings to matter.
For emotional availability.
For the relationship to feel like a partnership, not a guessing game.

None of that is “too much.”
That’s the foundation of a healthy relationship.

The man who makes you feel like your needs are burdens?
He’s showing you he’s not equipped to love you at the level you’re capable of loving.

Here’s the truth you’re scared to admit:
You’re not asking for too much, you’re asking the wrong man.

A man who can meet your needs won’t call them unreasonable.
A man who wants the relationship won’t argue with your standards.
A man who values you won’t wait for you to beg for the simplest things.

Incompatibility doesn’t always look dramatic sometimes it looks like exhaustion.
You’re tired because you’re carrying both halves of the connection.
You’re drained because he gives you just enough to keep you hoping, but never enough to keep you secure.
You’re confused because he sprinkles affection over neglect and calls it love.

Let me tell you something powerful:
The right man will make you feel calm, not crazy.
Chosen, not tolerated.
Understood, not overwhelming.

You’ll never have to shrink to fit.
You’ll never have to soften your needs to keep the peace.
You’ll never have to translate your heart in a language he refuses to learn.

Want to know if you’re asking too much?
Ask yourself this:

Would you ever treat him the way he treats you?
If the answer is no you already know.

You are not difficult.
You are not unlovable.
You are not asking for anything extraordinary.
You are simply loving a man who is not built for the weight of your heart.

And that’s not your failure,  it’s his limitation.

Your standards are only “too much” for a man who plans to give you too little.

Final Thought: Tessa’s Empowering Takeaway

You’re not asking for too much love, you’re finally asking for the right things. If he calls your needs “demanding,” it’s because he can’t meet them. Don’t lower your standards to fit a man who never intended to rise. The right man will call you a blessing, not a burden.

Disclaimer: Shared with love, not judgment.