I know it doesn’t make sense.

I’m the one creating the distance, the one pulling back, the one acting like I don’t need it the way I actually do. I say I want space, say I’m fine, say I don’t care as much as it looks like I do.

But I still want them to come after me.

That’s the part I don’t say out loud.

Because if they don’t, it feels like confirmation. Like maybe I mattered less than I thought, like maybe it was easier for them to let me go than it should’ve been.

So I test it.

Not intentionally, not in a calculated way, but in a way that still creates distance just to see what happens. To see if they’ll notice, if they’ll step in, if they’ll close the gap I created.

Because I want to feel chosen.

Even when I’m the one stepping back.

I want them to read between the lines, to see past what I’m showing, to understand that pulling away doesn’t always mean I want to be left alone.

Sometimes it means I want to be followed.

And I know that’s not fair.

Because I’m expecting them to respond to something I didn’t clearly say, to chase something I’m actively moving away from, to prove something without being given a real chance to.

But that doesn’t stop the feeling.

Because it’s not about logic.

It’s about wanting to know they would.

Tessa’s Straight-Up Perspective

You don’t want distance.

You want reassurance strong enough to close it.

Final Thought: Divine Delulu Summary

Sometimes you don’t pull away to leave.

You pull away to see who follows.

Disclaimer

This content is for reflection and emotional awareness, not professional advice. Take what resonates, leave what doesn’t, and always move with awareness and respect for your own boundaries.