Dear Tessa,

I don’t really understand why I do this, but every time something starts to feel real, I pull back. In the beginning, everything is easy. I’m present, I’m interested, I’m consistent. But as soon as it starts getting deeper, when there’s more emotion, more expectation, more connection, something in me shifts. I start overthinking, I start needing space, I start creating distance without really meaning to. And I know it affects her. I can see it. But I don’t know how to stop doing it. It’s like I want the connection, but I also feel the need to step back from it at the same time. Why do I pull away when things start to feel real?

— He Pulls Back

Tessa’s Straight-Up Perspective

Because real requires vulnerability, and vulnerability requires you to stay present in something you can’t fully control. In the beginning, it’s easy because there’s no pressure, no real risk, no deep emotional investment yet. But when it starts becoming real, when someone can actually affect you, that’s when your instinct shifts from leaning in to protecting yourself. Pulling away isn’t random, it’s a response. It’s how you create space from something that feels like it could matter. But the problem is, while you’re trying to protect yourself, you’re creating confusion and distance for the person on the other side. You can’t have a real connection if you only stay when it feels safe and leave when it starts to deepen. At some point, you have to decide if you’re willing to sit in the discomfort of something real instead of running from it.

Final Thought: Divine Delulu Summary

You want something real, but you pull away the moment it actually starts becoming real.

Disclaimer

This response is based on shared experiences and is meant for reflection, not absolute truth. Every situation is different. Take what resonates, leave what does not, and take responsibility for your patterns.