Dear Tessa: He Won’t Post Me on His Instagram

Crisis:
Dear Tessa, my boyfriend is active on Instagram posting his food, his car, his dog, even his gym progress bu t he never posts me. I’ve hinted, I’ve joked, and still nothing. Am I being needy, or is this a red flag?

— Visible Everywhere but His Feed

Oh, babe. Let’s cut straight to it: men post what they’re proud of. If he can proudly upload a picture of his lunch but can’t show off the literal human being he claims to care about, that’s not “privacy”  that’s hiding.

There’s a difference between being low-key and being low-priority. A man who’s serious about you won’t keep you tucked away like a dirty secret in his camera roll. If he’s worried about his “aesthetic” but not your feelings, then congratulations: you’re dating a walking red flag with a curated feed.

Here’s the truth being posted isn’t about clout or validation. It’s about acknowledgment. It’s about saying, “This is who I’m with, and I’m not afraid to let the world know.” If he can’t give you that, then what else is he hiding? Because nine times out of ten, it’s not just about Instagram it’s about accountability.

Final Thought: If he can post his breakfast but not you, he’s serving crumbs where you deserve the whole feast.

Disclaimer: Menace Mail is written with equal parts sarcasm, savage honesty, and a little too much iced coffee. These answers are not licensed therapy (shocking, I know), just unfiltered perspective. If it stings, maybe that’s the point. It is pure satire and for entertainment purposes only. The scenarios, “advice,” and commentary are exaggerated, over-the-top, and not meant to be taken literally. If you’re here for actual relationship guidance, you’re in the wrong inbox and on the wrong blog.