Dear Tessa: He’s Suddenly “Too Tired to Hang Out”

Crisis:
Dear Tessa, the guy I’m dating used to always want to see me. Now, suddenly, he says he’s “too tired to hang out” after work or on weekends. He still texts me, but avoids making plans. Am I being paranoid, or is he losing interest?

— Benched by Bedtime

Oh, babe. “Too tired” is the adult version of “my dog ate my homework.” Sure, everyone gets exhausted but funny how he’s only too tired when it comes to you, yet somehow has the energy for scrolling TikTok, gaming, or grabbing beers with the boys. Translation: it’s not about tired. It’s about priority.

Here’s the hard truth: when someone wants to see you, they’ll rally. They’ll show up messy-haired, yawning, fueled by caffeine and vibes because being around you recharges them, it doesn’t drain them. If hanging out feels like work to him now, that’s not fatigue. That’s fading interest dressed up as an excuse.

So what do you do? Don’t nag, don’t beg, don’t play nurse to his “tired.” Match his energy. Stop bending your schedule to fit his naps. If he perks up when he feels you slipping away, great now he knows effort matters. If not? Then you’ve got your answer: he wasn’t tired, he was just tired of pretending.

Final Thought: If he’s too tired for you, he’s too tired for a relationship. Don’t settle for being someone’s “when I have energy” option.

Disclaimer: Menace Mail is written with equal parts sarcasm, savage honesty, and a little too much iced coffee. These answers are not licensed therapy (shocking, I know), just unfiltered perspective. If it stings, maybe that’s the point. It is pure satire and for entertainment purposes only. The scenarios, “advice,” and commentary are exaggerated, over-the-top, and not meant to be taken literally. If you’re here for actual relationship guidance, you’re in the wrong inbox and on the wrong blog.