I Don’t Want Them, I Just Want Them to Want Me

I don’t actually want them.

Not in a real way, not in a long term way, not in a way where I see something building or lasting. If I’m honest, I don’t picture a future with them, I don’t feel that kind of connection, and I don’t even fully like who they are.

But I still want them to want me.

I want the attention, the validation, the feeling of being chosen without having to choose back. I want to know that I could have them if I wanted to, even if I never actually plan to.

And that says more about me than it does about them.

Because it’s not about connection.

It’s about control.

It’s about knowing I have that effect, that I can hold someone’s attention, that I can create that pull without fully giving myself to it. It’s about feeling wanted without having to risk anything real in return.

And that’s where it gets complicated.

Because I keep it going.

I respond, I engage, I leave just enough space for them to stay interested, even though I know I’m not going to meet them at that same level. I don’t shut it down, because I like how it feels.

Even if it’s not honest.

Because the moment I’m honest, the dynamic changes. The attention shifts, the feeling fades, and that sense of being wanted without effort disappears.

So I hold onto it.

Not because I want them.

But because I want what they give me.

And those are two very different things.

Tessa’s Straight-Up Perspective

Wanting to be wanted isn’t the same as wanting the person.

Don’t confuse validation with connection.

Final Thought: Divine Delulu Summary

Just because you like how it feels doesn’t mean it’s something you actually want.

Be honest about the difference.

Disclaimer

This content is for reflection and emotional awareness, not professional advice. Everyone’s experiences and situations are different. Take what resonates, leave what doesn’t, and always trust your own judgment and personal boundaries.