Dear Tessa,
I can’t tell what’s actually happening, and that uncertainty is starting to wear me down. One moment, things feel clear enough. The next, I’m second-guessing everything. I replay conversations, analyze tone, and try to piece together meaning from mixed signals. I don’t know if I’m missing something obvious or if the situation itself is just unclear.
What makes it harder is that nothing is being directly said. There’s no confirmation, no clear direction, no honest conversation that grounds me in reality. Instead, there are hints, inconsistencies, and moments that almost make sense if I squint hard enough. I find myself filling in gaps just to feel some sense of stability.
I keep asking myself if I’m being patient or just avoiding the truth. I don’t want to assume the worst, but I also don’t want to keep pretending that confusion is normal. I feel like I’m constantly trying to read between the lines instead of being able to take things at face value.
I’ve always trusted my ability to understand people, to pick up on energy and intention. But in this situation, I don’t trust my own perception anymore. I feel unsure of what’s real and what I’m projecting. That lack of clarity makes me anxious, and I don’t like how much space it’s taking up in my head.
What I want is simple. I want clarity. I want to know where I stand so I can respond honestly instead of guessing. I don’t want to decode behavior or overanalyze silence. I just want to be able to trust what’s in front of me without constantly questioning myself.
So how do you stop trying to read situations that won’t speak plainly? How do you trust your instincts when clarity feels just out of reach? And how do you decide what to do when confusion becomes the most consistent part of the connection?
Signed:
A woman craving clarity
Tessa’s Thoughts on the Subject
Confusion is rarely accidental. When situations feel consistently hard to read, it’s often because clarity is being withheld, whether intentionally or not. Mixed signals, vague communication, and inconsistency create uncertainty, and uncertainty keeps you emotionally engaged without giving you solid ground to stand on.
You’re not wrong for wanting clarity. Wanting to understand where you stand isn’t insecurity. It’s self-respect. When something is healthy, it may still be complex, but it doesn’t leave you constantly guessing. You shouldn’t have to analyze every interaction to feel oriented.
Many women internalize confusion as a personal failure. You start wondering if you’re overthinking, misreading, or asking for too much. But when clarity is present, it doesn’t require constant interpretation. If you feel like you’re always decoding behavior instead of responding to it, that’s information.
It’s also important to notice how confusion affects you over time. Does it make you feel grounded, or does it make you anxious, distracted, and uncertain of yourself? Situations that keep you off balance often do so because they benefit from your flexibility and patience, not because they’re waiting for the right moment to become clear.
You don’t need perfect understanding to take care of yourself. You only need to notice what the confusion is costing you. If clarity never arrives despite your effort to communicate or understand, that’s an answer in itself.
Tessa’s Straight-Up Perspective
Here’s the truth. If you can’t read the situation, it’s often because the situation isn’t being written clearly. Confusion that persists is not something to push through. It’s something to pay attention to. You deserve clarity, not constant interpretation. And if something requires you to stay confused in order to stay connected, it may not be aligned with your peace.
Disclaimer:
Dear Tessa is written woman-to-woman — honest, imperfect, and human. It’s meant to offer comfort, clarity, and perspective, not professional guidance. You know your life best.
